The Class of 2026 is hitting an AI brick wall on job hunting

A tale from the field tells it all

Note: This is a modified, expanded, and more deeply and seriously snarkified version of the author’s graduation week editorial column.

I knew the job market for we new graduates had been getting rough. I know that some of my classmates had changed majors because of worries that artificial intelligence might make it too hard to get a job in their originally chosen field.

I also knew about companies doing resume scanning, an old thing, and how AI had been brought more and more into the resume review process after they were scanned.

I also knew that AI had trickled down to even mid-sized companies on things like candidate evaluation, even interviews.

Little did I know … Oh, how little did I know.

“Hi, I’m Bob,” I told the lady on the other end of the Zoom interview.

Sadly, even though my entire college career had been in the COVID and post-COVID world, the career counseling office really hadn’t had much information, let alone training, on how to handle Zoom interviews.

“Hi, Bob, I’m Mary,” I heard, in a voice that sounded a bit clipped.

“I’ve got the Word document version of your resume and academic profile on a sidebar computer screen so I won’t have to look down at my desk. You may see me looking sideways at times. I hope that’s not distracting.”

“Of course not,” I said in response.

“Let’s go ahead, if you’re ready,” she said.

One thing I have been trying to do, even if I wasn’t told so at the career counseling office, is to be personable as well as professional. So, I always give a wave, then extend my hand as though I were trying to do one half of a handshake through the computer screen.

“I’m ready, and accept my half of a wave and a handshake,” I said.

“Thank you,” she replied, then moved one of her hands.

GACK!

There it was! Six fingers!

That explained the clipped voice.

I had heard about this at bigger companies, but not at one the size of ABC WorkStiff. I had deliberately been avoiding larger companies for just that reason after those earlier interviews.

But, once again, I was being interviewed by an AI bot, and once again, the company doing so had a relatively low-grade AI pretend-humanoid “person” fronting the bot for video. Big companies, I guess, are being cheap-ass because they can get away with it. Maybe a company the size of ABC WorkStiff feels pressure?

I let out an audible moan.

“Are you OK?” she asked.

“Yeah, just a bit nauseous. I’ll get over it,” I lied.

I knew I probably wouldn’t get over it until after we were done.

Was the AI bot trained to recognize physical signs of human emotions? Or was ABC WorkStiff cheap in that way, too? Onward and upward, and I figured I’d try to find that answer later. Meanwhile, I was now nervous on top of being angry, disgusted and frustrated.

I’d try to find the answer to my question later, if I could remember it. That said. would Google’s AI on its search even give me an answer?

“Shut the search results window, Bob,” I could picture a voice-active AI saying in “2026: An AI Job-Hunting Odyssey.”

The rest of the interview was pretty much a blur. I couldn’t help but look to see if the video bot showed his, her or its hand, or the other hand, or maybe even a third hand if it was that bad of a representation.

No “tells” that bad, though when Mary moved her head once kind of sharply, her hair looked like it was melting a little bit.

I muddled through the interview, trying to keep my anxiety and other emotions in check. Then, at the end, I figured I’d get a bit snarky as part of the signoff.

“Do you have any other questions?” Mary asked?

“Does your company have a GoFundMe for your hand surgery?”

“I don’t understand the question,” Mary responded.

Oh, great, I thought to myself. ABC WorkStiff is so cheap that the interview bot has little but job-related canned responses.

“Wait, I have one more question,” I said.

In for a penny, in for a pound.
“Does an AI bot have Buddha nature?” I asked.

“What is ‘AI bot’?” Mary asked in response.

Well, obviously, no second-order theory of mind at work, so that indirectly answers that question right there. Now, an actual Buddhist would tell me to wait and see if I could figure out if “Mary” had first-order theory of mind before I wrote her off. I’d argue that this response meant not even first-order theory of mind was present.

And, here I was hoping to get a human relations job. Something theoretically about managing real people in this company and addressing their real needs.

Knowing I had less than no chance at this position now, I shifted into Edvard Munch’s “Scream” pose and let out a yell so bloodcurdling that it might have shorted out “Mary’s” electronics if “she” had been there in person.

“Are you OK?”

“No, I am very much sick at my stomach now,” I said. “I have to leave.”

And with that, I ended the interview and connection.

==

Maybe it was time to join the 40 percent of my graduating peers using AI for resumes and other job hunting and interview preparation? I’d already gotten some AI advice on the resume; now was the time for the “other.”

==

“Claude, wake up,” I said.

“Yes, Bob?”

“Are you prepared for that 3 p.m. interview today?”

“Yes, I have gone over the past four that you had. I have role-played several scenarios, plus you have recorded enough additional voice scripts that I should be good.”

“All right, then. I’ll let you have this. This company you’ll be talking to is supposedly a bit qurky. But, I think the interview will be brief and, human or bot on the other end, you should get through fine.”

==

“Hi, I’m Bob!”

“Hello, Bob, I’m Claude. Welcome to the PDQ Bach company’s interview process.”

If Bob’s AI assistant Claude had been Bob, he might have wondered if he was now interviewing with a company so cheap as to not rename its AI bots, instead just recycling Anthropic’s AI personal assistant.

But Bob’s Claude was only a bot.

“Bob, I’d like to give you a wave of my hand and extend my half of a handshake before starting. It’s my way of being friendly and human.

“Can you wave back?”

Bob’s assistant didn’t have a brain, so it didn’t “know” anything, but Bob’s AI video was loaded and ready for that prompt. Theoretically

The assistant, as “Bob,” reached forward, and —

His hand appeared to be reaching through the screen — or actually, his AI hand appeared to be melting into the screen while trying to reach through it.

“Oh, great,” Claude said to himself. “Another AI bot.”

He started making a note for himself:

“Tell the HR senior managers that we need to say something about ‘You will be interviewed by an actual human at all times’ on all job listings.”

Claude finiished his scribbled note, then looked back up at the screen.

“Bob? Do you have Buddha-nature?”

“I remember talking to an AI interview bot about this.”

“And, what did they say?”

“Let me see if I can find where I saved that.”

“Stop. You’re not Bob. You’re Bob’s AI assistant with an AI video recording. We’re done.”

==

Bob got back home after a relaxing walk in the park.

He thought he’d check emails, then figure out what to do with the rest of the late afternoon and early evening.

GACK!

His iMac had something that looked like the Mac rainbow beach ball spinning wheel — but it covered the whole screen, like Microsoft’s blue screen of death.

“WHHHAAATTTT?”

“Bob, this is Claude. The Soylent Green pick-up service will be here in 15 minutes.”

“Who’s Soylent Green?”

“You’ll find out when they get here. You have been deemed non-essential.”

==

The apocalypse is indeed upon us.